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Jurassic World (2015) - wizzardSS Reviews

Jurassic World (2015)

1 Stars

Jurassic World (2015)
X

Source: Trailer Addict

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Plot

22 years after the events from Jurassic Park, the prehistoric island is now home to John Hammond's vision of a dinosaur theme park. The park features all of the classic reptiles, but with visitor numbers dwindling a new attraction is created, with horrific consequences.

Review

As soon as I read the first preview about the "new Jurassic Park" film, I was very excited. The original trilogy appeared to be suffering a decline and the franchise was in need of a shake up after the poor showing of Jurassic Park III.

Evidently, everyone in my home town agreed with me, and I was forced to sit in the front row with the heaving cinema behind. Incidentally, Odeon told me it was "sold out" and only the front row remained. Which surely means it isn't sold out? But that's beside the point. In addition, they didn't help their cause by failing to turn on the 3D for the first couple of minutes of the film.

Not that it mattered in the end, because it is a good 20 minutes until you get to see your first dinosaur. Before then you'll be introduced to all of the characters you will hate, not least because they are poor copies of those in Jurassic Park.

Out goes Tim, the annoying younger brother who loves dinosaurs and in comes Ty, the annoying younger brother who loves dinosaurs. Out goes Lex, the annoying older sibling who would rather be anywhere than on Isla Nublar and in comes Zach, the annoying older sibling who, well, you get the idea. It's not just the kids themselves who are annoying; the smidgen of backstory that is bolted on about their parents getting a divorce is, frankly, pathetic.

The siblings have a relative that runs the park (of course!) who is blind to the destructive potential of dinosaurs (quelle surprise!). In Jurassic Park it was John Hammond, in Jurassic World it is their aunt Claire who runs the park's operations and who is able to run away from a T-Rex in 6-inch heels and, instead of being hugely grateful and relieved when she finds her nephews, turns and kisses a man she went on a date with once.

The only likeable character in the film, with the exception of the Indominus Rex (who you mostly like because you wish it would eat everyone), is Owen Grady (Chris Pratt), the velociraptor expert. As the current go-to man in Hollywood, I was pleased to see that Pratt's burgeoning reputation is not ruined here. He is also the owner of the film's best scene, which you've already seen in the trailer anyway.

On the subject of scenes, if you've seen the previous three films in the franchise then many of them will feel very similar. Remember the large dinosaur crashing through the entrance hall in Jurassic Park before being mauled by rapters? That happens. Remember the brand new dinosaur facing off against the T-Rex in Jurassic Park III? That happens. Remember the dilophosaurus puffing out its frills as a threat? Oh yes, the dinosaur isn't even in the film, but that is still somehow crowbarred into the film.

All in all, it's the same story from the previous trilogy, albeit mashed into one huge pile of nonsense. The whole premise of Jurassic World is that they need to bring out a new attraction because the park is going stale. The new attraction goes horribly wrong. I think someone in the screenwriting department has had huge fun poking fun at the franchise for that one.

I'm sure the writers also had a field day with the over the top product placement - the most obvious examples of which are the named "sponsor" of the Indominus Rex (Verizon) and a small moment which had me questioning whether I was watching a Mercedes advert.

Finally, do you remember the huge score of music when the field of grazing herbivores is revealed in Jurassic Park? That booming string ensemble as Dr Grant marvels at the Diplodocus casually walking past? That music is unveiled in Jurassic World when you first see the park itself. Such self-approbation.

I think that, in itself, sums up Jurassic World. It so badly wants to tag onto the success of Jurassic Park, while disassociating itself with the poorer films in the franchise that it ends up being something that will neither be loved for achieving greatness nor hated for attempting greatness. It's just... a nothing film.

Review by on . Film Rating: 1/5